Sunday, June 7, 2009


I'm really bad about keeping up my blog... guess Facebook and Twitter have pretty much enabled me to cover all my action in simple updates and keep in touch with my friends in a very cold, disconnected sort of way...

Anyway, I feel like expressing my grief and anxiety here now.
I'm sick of my son being in the hospital for over a month now.
He was admitted May 12th, one week after being in the emergency room for a rash that was dismissed as an unknown allergic reaction to who knows what, because he was losing weight and constantly throwing up his formula and having diarrhea.
After two weeks of blood tests, bruises, x-rays, CT-scans, and trying different formulas, the doctors finally decided he needed bowel rest.
He was on an IV, with TPN that also contained prevacid for acid reflux, for about 11 days, gaining weight, but getting bloated by all the fluids. He had to have an albumen transfusion and then a diuretic to alleviate the water weight and bloating, but he's still below birth weight.
At least now his intestines have healed up and he's been accepting the Neocate formula at half strength with little to no problems.
While we don't want to rush things, we do want him to gain weight again, and we want him to come home already.
Seeing him in the hospital every day for about a month is depressing us every day more and more, and it's been a strain on the family.
I leave in a couple days for a business trip and my wife has to deal with this on her own for a week, making it even more difficult...
I just want my Benjamin to come home.

Friday, November 7, 2008

cubicle cuckolding...

Well, I've been at my company now for just three months.
My responsibilities include taking control of and monitoring the IT department as well as filling in shoes as a sys admin when necessary, heading the technical support for some of our company's products and a little bit of marketing for those products as well.
When I arrived, I was informed that my position was replacing that of someone that had left four months earlier. However, the two other members of the technical support team had mentioned that they were promised no one else would be hired, and then here I was.
One member of our team had for a long time feared that his position was in danger, and he resorted to harboring secrets, not sharing information and not cooperating with anyone else, thinking this would secure his position, job security of a sort.
Instead, this only made matters worse for him, and I learned today that he is being let go this Monday.

I feel responsible for this somehow, but I also learned that I'm not the only one he has been uncooperative with. I have tried to be open and honest and sharing in all my interests and findings when it comes to work, and in return I have been shrugged off and heard over and over from this man that he doesn't need my help because there is nothing I can do. He has also said that there is nothing I or we could do about many situations regarding our product and technical support issues out in the field. I have proven him wrong a few times in this regard, but his negative attitude and his consistent frame of mind to retain job security through harboring secrets and not sharing information has pushed our boss over the edge.

No one really knows what he does anymore. Quality Assurance is something that he has claimed is his responsibility, and inventory control. No one else on the team or in the office or at the company globally can explain what this really means, or prove that he has done anything in this regard, except for keeping track of the inventory.

In my opinion, I think he deserves a chance to change his ways before being let go. I feel that if we sat with him all together, and explained that this way of thinking in regards to job security is an outdated and harmful idea, and that he can trust us as a team, he might be able to change. He should not have to be thrown out onto the street so quickly, and I think he has talents and the intelligence to prove useful if he initiated some proactive effort, at least in some way regarding contributing to the sharing of information and helping progress our work.

My boss called me and told me that after a week in Paris at a convention being busy, and discussing with other members of the company what has been going on, he has made this final decision. Why he told me I'm not sure I know, except that he has been doing this since he took over as President of our company two years ago. There is only one other person that will still be working at our company that was there before him now. My boss has been building a team he believes works well with him, and I agree that is a smart thing to do, as well as believing in being open, honest and sharing with all information in everyone's positions. But I also think he should give this guy one more chance to prove he has what it takes to work at our company.

I will not sleep well this weekend, nor for the next week most likely, knowing that I am partly responsibly, even if somehow indirectly and remotely, for someone losing their job in this difficult time for all of us economically. He is a smart and experienced software engineer that just needs to learn to be more open and pro-active in his work ethics, but will not have that chance with our company now to prove he can do that.

I wonder if I should say something, but I don't want to step on anyone's toes, and coming from me, it might sound even more unpleasant than coming from our boss first. He already blames me for threatening his position in the office.

I wish there was a way to apologize and help him, but I can't think of any appropriate way to do so. I have already voiced my concern to my boss, and some of those I work with, without mentioning that he will be fired.